so there are many perks of being anonymous, the most important being that you will not be judged by the people you know.
will straight away get to the point of concern now. so i'm growing old, the proof being my birthday just the next day, next hour to be more precise. birthdays no more excite me, it has become a struggle to remember it and to actually feel as some special day. i have also realised that my birthday falls on a very odd day, no doubt people find it difficult to remember. recently i too have joined that set of group.
anyways the point we are here to discuss is what actually have i done till date and what do i expect myself doing in the near future.
one of the most important, thought provoking discussion which i had with my grandfather some 15years back is still fresh in my mind. the topic was what human life is worth of. every other living creature on this planet is driven by three main acts, they being - eat, sleep and reproduce. if your life revolves only around these three, you better be some other animal as you being human is of no good use to this planet.
eating and sleeping are something which comes naturally to us from the day we are born. coming to the third one - reproduction. the main aim of reproduction was to prevent their specie from extinction and carry on their existence.
so are we facing any danger of human extinction right now? no.
are there any chances of facing that situation in near future? no.
that brings us to the point that reproduction isn't that necessary for all the humans. we can very well do with out it. being in india reproduction is directly related with marriage. according to the society norms you have to be married to reproduce and once you are married, there is no other go you 'have' to reproduce at any cost. if not your marriage will be termed as a failed one. the advantage of being in india is that the female will be the first and most of the times the only person to be blamed for having no children. you can never question a man's fertility, ability etc etc on this land.
the above discussion is more of a generalized one.
now coming to me. do i actually want to get married?
when i am too high with positive emotions its a 'yes'.
when i get full negative vibes its a 'no'.
and when i think with a stable mind without getting emotional and being in full senses the answer is a big 'no'.
i can live without a marriage. it isn't something like oxygen which is must for my survival.
i haven't come to this decision because i never liked anybody or the other way round. i have met very wonderful people in my life. who i really adore and feel fortunate enough to have met them in my lifetime.
its just that everything feels temporary. the starting days are full dreamy, ecstatic, full of energy and what not.
but later on it becomes a struggle which you have to face each and everyday. sucking out happiness from yours and the opposite person's life. love can make things easier but what if you lack it? you may or may not get the choice of marrying someone you love. lucky enough if you marry the love of your life there is no guarantee that your love will only help you to improve. if it starts to hinder your growth and becomes a danger to your personal space then you will no longer want to be in such relation.
so getting married should not be a decision you make just because you have come of age. its the most important turning point of your life. it should be dealt with utmost seriousness and care. hasty decisions may make you repent your entire life.
and the latest additions to the things i want to do in my life is.
i don't want to have children. ( in case if i ever get married and no indian woman will let me marry her son if i happen to disclose my decision )
earlier i thought that when from the past 16yrs, 5-7 days every month when i have to go through physical and emotional turmoil only to prepare me for this specific job, if i don't accomplish it all my struggle will go vain.
but that does'nt bother me anymore. its ok if i don't eat the final fruit after planting a tree.
there are already many children on this planet who need love and affection. and i don't want to limit myself from sharing it with just 2 or 3 kids.
don't get into a idea that i'm trying to be the next mother teresa, actually i'm being selfish here.
having children makes you a lot more selfish, selfless, possessive and we very well know what a mother(from any part of the world) can endure for the sake of her children. so i just want to save myself from such high and deep emotions, even if it means that i lead an incomplete life, having not experienced all the relations.
well this way i will be able to share my love with many, though that may not be a real deep love but that will do for me. there will be no constraints or strings attached to me. i will not have to fear about the impact my decisions will have on other lives.
the other important outcome of the above two decisions will be that i will not have to leave my home, my parents home to be specific. i can be there for them as long as i can. i will not have the guilt of ignoring my responsibilities of being the elder child.
well thats the plan for now. don't actually know how far i will be able to carry that.convincing my parents for this will be a major task but just wish everything turns out good..
just a few wishes. may sound insane, but can't actually help. it may seem as if i am day dreaming but as there is no tax leveid on dreams, we have the freedom of having as many number of dreams as we wish to have. my attempt isn't of standing out from the rest or to prove that i am unique. i am just trying to be little practical and logical. true enough for the tagline 'mind over matter'.
so here's wishing good luck to me and happy birthday too ;)
cheers!! :)
will straight away get to the point of concern now. so i'm growing old, the proof being my birthday just the next day, next hour to be more precise. birthdays no more excite me, it has become a struggle to remember it and to actually feel as some special day. i have also realised that my birthday falls on a very odd day, no doubt people find it difficult to remember. recently i too have joined that set of group.
anyways the point we are here to discuss is what actually have i done till date and what do i expect myself doing in the near future.
one of the most important, thought provoking discussion which i had with my grandfather some 15years back is still fresh in my mind. the topic was what human life is worth of. every other living creature on this planet is driven by three main acts, they being - eat, sleep and reproduce. if your life revolves only around these three, you better be some other animal as you being human is of no good use to this planet.
eating and sleeping are something which comes naturally to us from the day we are born. coming to the third one - reproduction. the main aim of reproduction was to prevent their specie from extinction and carry on their existence.
so are we facing any danger of human extinction right now? no.
are there any chances of facing that situation in near future? no.
that brings us to the point that reproduction isn't that necessary for all the humans. we can very well do with out it. being in india reproduction is directly related with marriage. according to the society norms you have to be married to reproduce and once you are married, there is no other go you 'have' to reproduce at any cost. if not your marriage will be termed as a failed one. the advantage of being in india is that the female will be the first and most of the times the only person to be blamed for having no children. you can never question a man's fertility, ability etc etc on this land.
the above discussion is more of a generalized one.
now coming to me. do i actually want to get married?
when i am too high with positive emotions its a 'yes'.
when i get full negative vibes its a 'no'.
and when i think with a stable mind without getting emotional and being in full senses the answer is a big 'no'.
i can live without a marriage. it isn't something like oxygen which is must for my survival.
i haven't come to this decision because i never liked anybody or the other way round. i have met very wonderful people in my life. who i really adore and feel fortunate enough to have met them in my lifetime.
its just that everything feels temporary. the starting days are full dreamy, ecstatic, full of energy and what not.
but later on it becomes a struggle which you have to face each and everyday. sucking out happiness from yours and the opposite person's life. love can make things easier but what if you lack it? you may or may not get the choice of marrying someone you love. lucky enough if you marry the love of your life there is no guarantee that your love will only help you to improve. if it starts to hinder your growth and becomes a danger to your personal space then you will no longer want to be in such relation.
so getting married should not be a decision you make just because you have come of age. its the most important turning point of your life. it should be dealt with utmost seriousness and care. hasty decisions may make you repent your entire life.
and the latest additions to the things i want to do in my life is.
i don't want to have children. ( in case if i ever get married and no indian woman will let me marry her son if i happen to disclose my decision )
earlier i thought that when from the past 16yrs, 5-7 days every month when i have to go through physical and emotional turmoil only to prepare me for this specific job, if i don't accomplish it all my struggle will go vain.
but that does'nt bother me anymore. its ok if i don't eat the final fruit after planting a tree.
there are already many children on this planet who need love and affection. and i don't want to limit myself from sharing it with just 2 or 3 kids.
don't get into a idea that i'm trying to be the next mother teresa, actually i'm being selfish here.
having children makes you a lot more selfish, selfless, possessive and we very well know what a mother(from any part of the world) can endure for the sake of her children. so i just want to save myself from such high and deep emotions, even if it means that i lead an incomplete life, having not experienced all the relations.
well this way i will be able to share my love with many, though that may not be a real deep love but that will do for me. there will be no constraints or strings attached to me. i will not have to fear about the impact my decisions will have on other lives.
the other important outcome of the above two decisions will be that i will not have to leave my home, my parents home to be specific. i can be there for them as long as i can. i will not have the guilt of ignoring my responsibilities of being the elder child.
well thats the plan for now. don't actually know how far i will be able to carry that.convincing my parents for this will be a major task but just wish everything turns out good..
just a few wishes. may sound insane, but can't actually help. it may seem as if i am day dreaming but as there is no tax leveid on dreams, we have the freedom of having as many number of dreams as we wish to have. my attempt isn't of standing out from the rest or to prove that i am unique. i am just trying to be little practical and logical. true enough for the tagline 'mind over matter'.
so here's wishing good luck to me and happy birthday too ;)
cheers!! :)
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