Scarred beauty

In love with my scars

Beauty leaves your side,
With age and time
Some fine day or some night
But your scars don't.

That smooth skin
Clear, supple, radiant
flawless covering you have
Makes you more insecure,
Than comfortable on your own
But your scars they don't give a damn about a thing.

They needn't be decorated
Taken care of, stressed over

Their beauty is mystic​
With those rugged and rough edges
Bumpy, irregular surface
Nothing of them follows a rhythm
or any order
They don't care if you notice them
Shower some praise
They give a fuck,
Even when ignored.

They know what they are.
How much strength they behold.
Their capability,
The things they have seen,
The battles they fought
Won and lost
Yet stand brave, undettered..
Ready for more..

The real picture

I try to look for love,
In the most despised eyes.

For they give me what they have,
I realise what they lack.

I try to look for regret,
In the eyes of people who I love.

For they are good at hiding some stuff,
But not all the time.

I try to look for smiles,
On the faces of old and child

For they know the raw life ,
The way its aligned.

I try to look for hope,
In the eyes of the survivors.

For they see their end,
Yet are better at living than us.

I try to look for strength in the specially abled,
Lot different from the stock.

For they no more curse the fate,
Look at things their own way.

I try to look for sadness in the eyes of each one of the above.
And I close my eyes.
As it's overwhelming.

So I try to look for good,
Even though I am going blind.

For if I search for the real picture,
I can't survive.

One in thousand

I remember, not so vividly
Blurred faded memory
Of running from room to room
Announcing to everyone I meet
Of the arrival of my baby sister

I remember, not so vividly
Blurred faded memory
Of me not being the favourite anymore
There's this kid who needed​ the care more
Now I was supposed to be a responsible elder sibling

You were my priced possession
You were the only real doll,
I knew I can call my own
Caring for you was part of my nature
Never felt like a little child, as before

I used to rush to your classroom
As soon as they rung the recess bell
Complete all your notes, before we headed for the lunch
Searched the school frantically,
Among the known and unknown faces
The days I didn't find you on our agreed spot at home bell

The frequent unannounced calls from your class teacher
To help you out with the trivial things
Of all the good and bad days,
Never was I tired of being
Your elder big sister

But as we grew old, we grew apart
Events of our personal life
Took a toll on our bind
I no more knew what you wrote in your books
If you had a single meal in your day or no

I remember not so vividly
Blurred faded memory
Of big fat tears rolling down your cheeks one evening
When you couldn't trace me in the school for few hours
I know you still love me the same

I remember not so vividly
Blurred faded memory
Of a dream I had about my future
That I will find you by my side
Until the very end of my life.

Love you 😘😘

( P.S : Our theme song. ""Ek hazaro mein meri behna hai, Phoollon ka tarroon ka sabka kehna hai " 😜 )

Disgust

There's a war going on,
At the other side of this world
Armies on strike
Thousands losing lives
Millions left alive,
With shattered homes and scarred souls
Children sleeping on empty stomach,
Without a drop down their throat

So many things which are of real concern
But all I do sitting under this star lit sky is think of you
The selfish me..
Or selfless?
As I think from your side too
Listing​ out all my quirks which may be hindering you

Torturing myself with your memories
An army needn't ​ be employed to get me killed​
Thank you, My love will eventually do that for me
As this army never retreats

There are pictures of destruction doing rounds
And all I do is search for quotes,
Write poems on broken hearts and souls
How cursed I am to overlook my blessings!
This routine disgusts me
How small can someone's world be?

Physical pain is easy to endure
You cry for a while
And deal with it anyway
Emotional agony is hard to bear
Crying is what you do all the time
With a smile on your face

Here you are the destroyer
And the destruction
This war never ends
None dies
Yet there is no life left..

Wait

I wait for you
To take me into your arms
And plant a sweet kiss

Or to run into your arms
And hug you tight
The tightest I can
You kiss the tears rolling down my cheek
Place the hair strands​ behind my ear
Look keenly at my face
Give a crooked heartfelt smile
Stare right into my eyes
Close them with your hands
Before whispering into my ear
I open my eyes as you ask me to
Only to see my roof's ceiling fan
Turning round and round
Making a squeaking sound

You are still in my thoughts
I haven't gone insane, not yet
My dream will stay alive
Till I see it with my open eyes..

Mister..

Mister
I don't need you to complete me
I'm no half, no quarter

I'm not your honey bun, nor cutie pie
I come with a pack of wolves
Which howl on a full moon night

I don't believe in forevers
Just make this moment mine
I will be more than fine

I don't want to be a passing phase
Or a thing of rejoice
Stay only if you have love on your mind

I'm looking for heavenly pleasure
Don't ask for my naked skin
Before you decipher my mystic soul

I don't need you to fight my battles
Stay by my side, don't wander
As for my fights, I can very well handle

I'm no perfect, you aren't one either
Let our imperfections mate
Make something uniquely innate

You don't have to write me a sonnet
Nor take a bullet, through your chest
Just hold me when I'm upset
Hold me tighter when I push you away

Mister
I'm not here to complete you
I can just make your journey worthwhile
To have me, is all your choice

Let go..

Life mocks at me
As I cry
It laughs at me

Life challenges me
As I complete one
It comes up with a lot shrewd one

Life ignores me
As I try out ways to feel alive
It appears like draging a log along

Life resents me
As I lay whole day on my bed
It tries hard to move a muscle, all in vain

Life embarrases me
As I try to make my presence felt
It makes a fool out of me

Life nourishes me
As I endeavour​ its many facets
It brings out a matured me

Life ditches me
As get in a mood of craze and fun
It flops each of what planned

Life excites me
As I get enlightened​ by some of its​ wonders
It saves up innumerable ones to relish

Life loves me
As I try different ways to get rid of it
It holds on to me, refusing to let go..

Marathon

I look for no love
I look for no assurance
I look for what
I'm unaware

No lyrics
No music
No intoxication
Bring comfort

No clue
No apprehension
I am waiting for a ship
At bus station

You can drug me
Try and make me numb
Yet my thoughts
They'll stay wide awake

No kisses can sweeten up
No hugs can fix
My soul is too sour
Too broken to be repaired​

My stomach is on fire
My heart unrest
My insides churn
My brain in a marathon race

And I run, run, run
In this mad race
With no destiny to reach
No good no bad to preach

Feast

I don't write for you
I don't write for me
I write for the demons
Who need to be put to sleep

They eat on my thoughts
Rip apart my memories
Drink up all my emotions
Yet turn up each night, thirsty

Nothing distracts them
They are all time ready
To feast on me
And make merry

Timed forever

People come, people go
You never know who stay
And who don't.
They bring you happiness,
Leave you in tears.
Promise you the moon,
Gift you burns from the Sun.
Their forevers are timed,
For few moods, for few seasons.
You mean the world to them,
A world that constantly changes.
You being stupid,
Will again play a joker.
Fall in their trap,
Knowing the bitter closure.
So..
People will come, people will go
You don't deter.
The one who deserves you,
Will make their mark anew..

Weigh me down

Taste of loneliness

Nights

Night lover I was
But now darkness kills

The moon, the stars, the silence
Drench me in your memories

The questions that start arising
Are too much for my heart to hold

The same gets played in my brain
On a loop, with no rest

I gave you everything
All you did was resent

Am I in a state of denial?
Of self I don't care?

This pain I'm presenting to myself
Something I have already excess

Somedays I forget you, I live
Suddenly you appear, I die again

I'm used to your silence
Still I get fooled and wait for your answers

I have started looking upto the dawn
To let the life in me stay alive

Nights used to bring solace
Now they only create a havoc

Heaven on Earth

Kashmir
I haven't been there
Heard it is heaven on earth
Lover's paradise

Can people of such beautiful place
Have an ugly heart?
Or is it a scarred one?
Being exploited
For momentary survival
Risking their future
To see the present

Who doesn't want peace
In their homeland
Who bombards their own backyard?
Why are they helpless?
Is it really religion?
Or some ugly power play

Man killing other man
To rule over the left
Will his heart be unruffled?
Calm and pious
To look at his empire
Built on the corpse's rubble

Melody

Wish

He - Man

He gave up the ice-creams, his favourites
As his sister wasn't to be spoiled with sweets

He helped his mom daily in cooking
Was the only way he could lessen her pain after being hit by his alcoholic father

He went no where near the drinks on the new year's​ eve
Promised to drop his female friends safely at home after the party

He gave up his seat , running a temperature of 102°
He couldn't discomfort the pregnant lady

He lost his right eye's vision
Did his best to save the unknown girl from getting molested by the goons

He slept out on the couch, though each of his body part ached
He wanted to make his wife's friends comfortable, who made a surprise visit

He dropped her school everday, then headed to his office at the opposite end of the city
He didn't want any interruption in his daughter's studies

He didn't kiss his wife of ten years
She deserved her own time to heal from her past abusive relationship

The old man forced himself to get up early every morning
He didn't want his wife from stopping his grand daughters from attending the sport's practice

( P. S  - Don't let the good in many get overshadowed by the negatives of few )

Dark secrets

I still can't see you in pain
I get disturbed when you are not the same

Things you are going through
I've already been there

This pain had become my part
But you were unaware

Strangers sharing their​ dark secrets
Wasn't sure such thing existed until this day

You try hard to hide your feelings now
Even I unlook the things which are obvious

Love doesn't survive when it isn't valued
Taking for granted was the last thing you could​ do

We can't turn back again
Our paths have diverged long ago

New people have joined our journey
We can't put their feelings at stake

Still I can't see you in pain
A part of me breaks, every time I realise you and me are not the same

I wish to share these thoughts with you
But I will not, as I don't want to let you know, I still think of you

Sweeter than sweetest

I'm not a poet nor this a poem
But you my darling!
Are my latest muse
Following lines are only to comfort my aching heart, but not to impress you :-P

Your eyes
Not the best ones I have seen
But the way they look at me
Never felt so special before

Your​ nose
You count it amongst your assets
I find it no great
But fun to play with :-P

Your smile
You spend it like a miser
But the one which comes, when you no longer care about this world
It's the most innocent expression of love I have ever seen

Your hands
Smaller than mine
Cute little ones
I don't wanna let them go anytime

Your hug
It's the safest haven on this land
My escape, my retreat
My best place to die in peace

I'm not a poet nor this a poem
But you my darling!
Can be anyone's muse
Everything and anything written on you
Will be no less a melody
Sweeter than any of the sweetest poems
Ever and to be written

Hopeless Lover

And I fall in love again
Head over heels, umpteenth time
As irresistibly desirable you happen to be
I lose my senses when you are around

You turn up every single night
Sweet, everlasting love you bring along
And put a smile on this face
You steal the light
Bathe me in your love rays
People say you have scars many
Pity them, they can't look beyond the veil

You are my peace, my serenity
You change phases, so do I
Though a part of us always stays along
You calm and soothe my burning soul
Silence my mind
Fill my heart with outpouring love

You are my sweet nothings
I have met you in my dreams several times
Darting the unmeasurable distance that's in between
There's magic when we meet
With the mad love in the air
I kiss you​ good night
And you put me to sleep

I believe in miracles
And you top my list
Will I ever be able to stop loving you?
Not in this life it appears to be..

Slow Poison

And I forgive you
Not sure if you feel sorry or no
But I deserve peace

Love does no harm
People do
I don't want to be the one among few

Stay happy, vibrant
Keep no guilt
No regret

Our paths will cross again I know
Give a smile
Don't turn a blind eye

You gave me too many things to grumble
Illusion of a happy home
I was ready to accompany you even to the woods

Each of it has vanished into thin air
Your words were too hollow
To survive the time course

Your love is acting like a slow poison now
Hindering the new love and happiness
Which are trying to push their way along

I'm unable to make fresh memories
Being stuck with the old rustic ones
Existence of which you don't reckon

So this little help I'm doing to myself
Forgiving you
For things you did and were never sorry for..

Garnish on an Exotic Dish

You said you can die for me, but not live
Being aware you are my life

You call me a emotional fool
In your logic I'm difficult to fit

My love is dangerous you say
Suffocates you and me the same

I kill jokes you complain
When I can't laugh at something that nudges my conscience

You try to improve my being you defend
Ignoring the person I already am

My interests bore you, too mediocre they appear
All the innovations happen in your brain

Physical energy binds love you say
Rubbishing the fact that emotions form the base

Love is just a small part in your life
Like a garnish on an exotic dish

It wasn't an unrequited love,  you always had me
Strange though I wasn't your need

Your life is already complete you say
Am just a supporting artist, required here and there

You were right about being born ahead of your time
As you are perfect to be a robot, than a man

Month or two you need
To brush me off like an​ unwanted memory

Do you acknowledge what real love is?
Or you just pretend to know

I breathe in love
It flows through my veins

But your love has turned me bitter
I no longer believe in forevers

I'm not a negative soul
Hurling abuses at anyone, let alone be you

I have to answer my own questions
As for you this will never make any sense

Am here to empty my feelings
So they stop killing me, if not now some fine day

And I just wait here
Until that day arrives and brings back my smile

Fills me up with the old love
Helps me survive..

Cold

I want to let it out
Until I feel no more

Not a cinch for you
Flush you out of my system
From my each cell

No call, no message
Why should  always I initiate
When you hardly care

Putting me through all this
Must give you some relish insane
Else all this pain is of no avail

Bother to know if I'm dead or alive
I'm no more the same girl realise

Who was ready to hurt herself
For your momentary attention
All that despair has been put to rest

Huh! I still do wait
Tiniest of the tiny good thing you did
I recollect and appreciate

To fool my mind again
You aren't as cold as you radiate

No more
Will I let you feed on my weakness

Love has been my strength
Will always be
But not the one shared with a coward, that you happen to be..

Of the Ice, Fire, Valley and Sea

Put me on an ice block
Let it numb the pain
Romanticized a frozen heart
This will be my new solace

Put me on a pyre
With already blazing desires
Let this mind cool down
As the log turns to ash

Let me dive down a valley
My spirit be left free
Invisible wings may span out
Saving the little life that strived on

Let me get washed away by the waves
Take me to their Kingdom,  Seabed
I'll be the Queen of hearts for a while
Since it's depth will match mine

Coccoon

Don't ask me how I'm doing
Don't wake up the monster, I have just put to sleep
It's just a question, start of a formal conversation.
The answer of which may linger with you for a moment or two
Being whisked into air in a go.

Within me, it unleashes a silent storm
Ready to cause some new destruction
Eating away the left over bits
Like a hovering vulture, prying all along
Leaving my wounds again raw and sore
With a half dead soul

Don't ask for my real smile
Let the fake one stay
As the real one can't survive in this town
Dying a brutal death
Better buried alive than dead

Don't ask if my eyes hide any pain
'Cause it's my new treasured possession
With a promised long stay
May be they are just the way they are supposed to be
After all those tears
Some being waterfalls, few drizzle
Left now as sand dunes of a desert

Let the new me exist
Who is happy in her own coccoon
Keeping the outside world's​ interaction
Least and minimum
Neither causing trouble nor inviting any

Please, don't ask me how I'm doing
As always, I have to say I'm good
Which isn't true, no more.

Treasure

Life is a mess
So be it
Who said orderliness is bliss?
Why do we wait for things to get sorted?
Are we used to waiting?
Waiting for perfect time
Perfect person
Perfect place
Perfect moment

What if perfection is myth?
Is anything perfect in this universe?
Anything at all?
These little sweet moments of happiness
May be is the treasure
We are looking for all along
They lie just below our nose
Go unnoticed, unappreciated
Simple joys, the silly ones
Where you jump like a child
Go insane like a psyc

Why are we eager to get settled?
Dream of life getting completely stable
Why is it the mind always focussed on a distant vision?
Or keeps looking in the rear view mirror
Frequently reading the precaution
That objects are more near than they appear
How can the future satisfy anyone?
If we are unhappy with the present
Knowing this very future is going to be the next present