Learnings

And I have learnt..
To be at peace,
By loving without expecting

To stay calm,
By not predicting the future awaiting

Learnt the strength a group holds,
By participating and not competing

To silence the constant blabber of my anxious mind,
By going with the flow of my heart still beating

To not fear embarrassment,
As failing is more comforting than never trying

To be not afraid of the hurt love brings along,
As I wouldn't want to miss out on the emotion which keeps each life moving

To stay unfazed by the passed judgements,
As I realised they never make any difference to my being

To laugh at myself often,
Cause I realised I need a lot more jokes to keep my sane self going

To not avoid adversities,
As they are always around the corner, no fun not playing

And to not fear death,
As it holds my journey's final ending..

Rainbow

When you can make a difference
Bring a change
For a better future,
Better living
All the tomorrows
Which can be wiped off,
Of the gloominess that darkness accompanies..

Ain't only about the books
It's also about the bats, the balls
Which can never be held in their hands
For what lies ahead is only the blurred margins

All the greens of the fields,
Which will be missed.
The glaring orange of the Sun.
The bright red of the chillies, burning your tongue
You would want to see..

The view of the dark bulging clouds, ready to pour down a spell,
Along with their thundering anger.
And the thick branches in their hugs across the streets.
The brown of the earth,
The sky blue reflected by the clear blue still of the lake.
To rest alongside the streets, chasing the colour pop of a butterfly..

Things which you believe only when you see..
Imagination gives you wings,
But to take that flight
You recall all you've seen.
Close your eyes
And finally jump in..

So when you can make a difference,
Even a small one.
For them to savour the many rainbows the sky of life beholds
You must have done something right, after many wrongs..

( P.S - School eye camps are lot more fun than imagined! 😅 )

Acceptance

The love you thought you needed,
The love you thought you wanted,
Both leave you the same..
Teaching a lesson
Making you realise
To fall in love again
But this time..

A bit harder,
A bit deeper,
More truer,
More pure,
With self

And end that long wait,
for a soulmate
someone anew..
As your search ends
In your own reflection..
Staring back at you..
Waiting patiently
For you to make up for the lost time
And your acceptance..

( P.S : Sounds a bit creepy, but true fact!)

Within..

Search for the strength, within.
Search for that true love, within.
Search for that belief, within.
Search for everything you been wanting,
Everything you ever needed...
Within.

Language unknown..

People around
People here, people there
Few I understand
Some I empathize
Some make me feel
Some just stay still

I try
I struggle
To make something meaningful
Of the words said
And the words untold
Language I hear around
The slang unknown

Some thank
Some give a apprehensive talk
Some complain
Some backbite
These some sum up the whole

Getting the grip of it
Hanging with anything my hands can get a grasp on
Long way to go
Many souls to meet
Many voices to be heard

Rant.

Give them a part of you
They snatch away whole entity
Make them know your choice
They start making decisions you should

Scribble their name on your heart
They'll direct it to beat to their rhythm
Keep proving yourself at each step
For you to uphold the integrity of your every move

Since when love has become so pretentious
It makes me wonder
There's nothing new to be said.
The same old
Being packed in new style before sold.

Questions..

Questions is all I have
Answers few
Yet none's interested in knowing them
No one here wants a solution
Ignoring is the art they master
Turn a blind eye
And things go invisible
However humongous it may be
Brush off
Wipe it clean
Your heart hasn't witnessed anything
Nor has anything been registered  in your brain
Control your soul, your conscience
For its causing all the thunder
Shouting too loud
Screams, bursting the ear drum
Deafening
Bleeding your ears out
But
Maintain your composure
You hear nothing
NOTHING
Shove off the questions
Answers, what do they mean?
For real?
Paste that smile on
Get going with your life
Keep your breath sync with your foot
Breathing, moving..

Period

Let the dead die
Let them rest in peace for a while
Don't go back
Don't play the game
Become a toy
Reversing the scenarios
With all your ifs and buts
What if I had said this
What if I was to do this
What if!?
Why can't it be like that
Why shouldn't it be like this
Too many chances
Too many combinations
You'll run out of them, but this saga will continue
You can never have all the answers
You can never have the right questions
So let it be
What has happened,
The way it has.. just let it be
Let the dead rest
Leave them in peace
Period.

Strings

Why are most of the songs on love?
Cause it's the most important thing people need?
Or is it the most easiest way to fool and exploit people of their money.

Is it because life is nothing without love?
Or is it because love sells more?

The singer, the writer do they mean what they sing, what they write?
The listeners do they try to grasp the meaning behind those words or does the music only reach their ears.

The passion they put into music, the concerts, the plays, the different versions of love described, sung.
None knows how many souls are really touched and how many just fool around..

How the hand that plays the guitar pulls the strings of our heart
How the singer we never met, speaks through his song to our soul
How the lyrics showcase our life's story, which happens to be untold

So many questions, yet the answers remain unknown..

Worth

I can't put love into words
Pain i can, very well
I can describe hurt, agony
In some of the many ways
But when it comes to love
Words fail me
Can't write, can't recite
Can't think, can't decide
All I do is
Look into those dark brown eyes
Remind self I'm living a dream
A dream which I never want to end
Freeze the moment
Grab hold , snatch ,
Take back the loosing time
My brain shuts down
My heart accelerates
And just stare into the vastness of those eyes
Like a baby gazing at the stars for the very first time
Like a teenager who's just learnt about galaxies,
Now searching one for his own
Like an adult looking at the never ending sea
And those eyes harbour the same
A never ending emotion
A lifetime of care
A love worth giving my life for...

Gender and Slumber

Yes, I have blemishes on my face
Acne here and there
Of different size and stage
Spots which cover most of my cheeks
My hair is a mess
Bushy, untamed.
My stomach gets bloated
Every alternate day.
My curves resemble flats
My thighs have never cared about any gap
I can't conceal, can't contour
I prefer my sandals to heels any day
I don't try to grab attention by making silly pouts
Neither do I care about the friends list on my social account

I don't believe in sticking to gender biased roles
All men aren't creepy
Nor all woman are idols of innocence
It ain't about the bracket of gender that decides your fate
Shallowness of the societal norms
Steals away the basic humanism from crowd
The figure in your bank account can only pamper your ego
Empathy but not sympathy is what you require
To treat others as an equal
So glance into the depth of your soul
Shake your conscience
Wake it up from its slumber

Aftertaste

In the past few days
There's someone losing their father to a long standing ailment.
Someone losing their mom due to sudden turn of events.
One losing his mental health,
Another one has to do away from physical well-being.
One nursing the wounds given by others,
One caressing the self inflicted cuts.
One giving his life for someone he loves, another gifting death to his own.

The past few days
Have shown me the essence of life
It's variables, the myriad of emotions
Splash of adversities and blessings
Thrown at each one of us.

The lessons we learn living
Smooth rides, and hardships alike
Destruction making way for glorious remake
At times sweet goings, with bitter aftertaste.

Your smile

Your smile makes...

My breath to stop
And my heart to race
Like intoxication,
Like a magic potion
It gives my non-angelic soul wings
Rays of hope of turning my dreams into reality..

Your smile..
Saves me from the ghosts of my past
Future no longer scares
It pours a meaning into life
Gives essence to my living..

And when I happen to be the reason
behind that curve on your face..
I wait for another day
For the Sun to rise again
To witness your spell of magic,
the most heavenly work on this planet..

Your smile..

And
My heart starts to race,
I struggle to catch my breath.. ;)

You too

I know you say you love me.
But by the time you realise you don't,
I'll be in love with you too.
This falling in love thing has always left me in deep dark dungeons.
Broken, shattered, in pieces.
Only managed to come out of it, less than half way.
And I fear this breeze of your love, will loosen my grip of reality and I'll slip again.
This time too deep, too broken, too shattered to acknowledge that I ever had something called heart, that sometime ago even I was a lively soul.

Strike off

Got my name tattooed
For the love he had
Only to realise
he can't share it any long

As I'm no more part of his life
Asked him to get lasered off
Or edited
For my name not to show
Not to pain that new girl he found

Refused, paid a deaf ear
After endless amount of convincing
Finally agreed to make some changes
Fill in the cracks he built

He'll get two lines added across
Which will strike off my name
For what was hiding within
Now will very well show on his skin..

Birds

These birds
How do they find their way
No roads no by ways
No compass , no maps
No guide to keep a check

Geography keeps changing
Trees are cut down
Buildings emerging
How do they find their way
Not going astray

Days are turned into night
By weather changes
Imbalances created by dumb humans
Nights are too lighted
To see the dark
With the bright lights
Loud beat sounds
How does their system
Keep up with things going so insane

*glasses* * clinks *

It bears the blame
When all it does is relieve the pain
Busts your stress
Gives wings, makes you fly
Sought by many
Different occasions
Different reasons
Different quantities
Half, full , quarter
Happy, sad, heartbroken
According to greed
According to need
Some are open about it
Few secretly choose its company
It never asked you to get addicted
Yet you go crazy after it
As if you want it to replace your blood
Your negatives, your weakness
But it has to bear the brunt
Few use it as an excuse
To hide their barbaric intentions
Few to overcome their inhibitions
People in power sell it without any bounds
To keep the money filling their tummy
For some it's a long lost friend
For some a dreaded enemy

Friend or a foe
Depends how you choose
Your control over your addictions
Can gift you happy gatherings
Of friends and family
Or lifetime of dreaded silence
When crossed the permitted boundaries

Choose wisely! ;)
Cheers!! :)

Never.

Don't make people your world
Run after the butterflies
Run after the rivers
But never behind another human

Look for loyalty in your pet
Look for innocence in the eyes of kids
But never look for it in another human

Feel the love of your mom
Feel the care your dad has to shower
But never make a mistake of searching it in any other

Get inked, let those needle carve out on your skin
Get bruised, fall, get hit by whatever stops your way
But never let your heart get broken by someone other

Get high, on the nature around you
Feel the music, dance to the beats
But never get that drink to get over the pain some stone heart gave

Take care of your health
Take good care of your soul
And as for your heart babe, keep it safe
Away from the pryful eyes
Sharp edged tongues
And frozen souls..

Creator me.

I fear my thoughts will be stolen ,
If I share them with the world.
So I tried to keep them locked,
Bury them deep
Safely in my head
Fighting against my heart,
Which wants them to be set free.

Caged , left with no company.
Sooner, my thoughts grew stale
And started to rot from within.
Ashamed of the selfish mortal
Who had their ownership
Alive, with no life within
Death was a relief
Than such presence, they believed.

When my own thoughts turned against me.
Were more aloof ,
Strange than any stranger
I have ever seen.
Plotted an escape
Tried to run free
For breath of freedom
Away from the shackles
Dark dungeons of my skin

I cursed my creator,
More often than not
When I faced adversities.
And when I had the power to create
I locked my creations down
Seconds after blowing in life

What good was having them
When they questioned their existence
So I decided to let them free
Gifted back the wings
They owned since their inception

What if they get stolen
Used by some another
With a new name
They'll still have a life there on,
With a different credit.

Wherever they may travel
Through word of mouth
Or scribbled , written
They'll always carry
A piece of my soul tagged along.

Little less..

I cry a little less
I smile a little less

I love a little less
I get hurt a little less

I trust a little less
I hope a little less

The storm within me
still rages the very same,

But I'm me,
just a little less..

Good bye.

When you miss the love,
Live your past on rewind.
When every night the tears roll down
With no hope for any closure, no end to your sigh.

But the pain they caused,
The tears that came along.
Were a never ending gift.
Which refused to let you go,
While they always put you low.

So teach yourself to stay brave,
Hang on to that single thread of strength.
Suffer and live the pain,
Until the day you realise..

You can miss people.
Yet not want them back.
The tears that roll out now,
Will stop in a while.
When you finally understand,
That what's done is done.
Close that chapter,
Bid good bye.

Crossroads..

How much I wish to run back to you,
Atleast for one last time.
To hug you the tightest, than I ever had.
To have one last dive into your dark brown eyes.
Try to trace the lines of your hand with my fingers.
Pull those cheeks, play with them as long as I can.

But wasn't my every hug the tightest?
Didn't I get drowned in your eyes every single time.
When did I ever release your hand without letting my heart break into pieces?

Wasn't every moment we spent together precious?
It always had the excitement of first,
And the pain of last.

Yet here we are,
At this crossroads.
Where I know every way to reach you.
But we prefer to stay lost in this madness..

random cues